In 2013, I left the Bay Area and nursing and moved to
Sedona, AZ. I’d fallen in love with its beauty, its serene energy, but this was a BIG decision – I’d been a registered nurse for 34 years and didn’t have a clue what I’d do in Sedona. I just knew I was done with nursing, and I was being drawn to Sedona. I took a leap of faith and moved.
It wasn’t my first leap of faith. In my 20’s, I had an inkling there was more to what I was experiencing in life. This brought me several years later to a meditation master and a life changing experience of living in an ashram in India.
My life there was all about yoga, meditation, eastern philosophy and volunteering as a form of service to the community and ultimately, humanity.
I had beautiful meditation experiences in the ashram: sometimes I’d feel a peace not of this world. Other times I’d be feeling a love so big, it didn’t seem possible to feel that love in my everyday life. But these experiences never lasted. Not only that, the fact is, our conditioned ego-mind loves to compare. Everybody experiences energy differently. I seemed to be predominately kinesthetic (feeling), so I’d feel peace or contentment, but I never had the visions or heard the music so many others described. Immediately, my ego-mind compared, and, just as quickly, negated the very experiences which were bringing me to my Higher Self.
It is a great ruse of the ego-mind to divert our attention in any way possible, so as to keep us in a state of confusion and wanting. This keeps us always seeking and never finding.
I spent a LOT of years thinking something was wrong with my spiritual journey because I wasn’t having ‘other peoples’ experiences. All those other people seemed to be having the best time in meditation – seeing visions for example, or hearing celestial music. Finally, after years of assuming I’d been doing this spiritual path stuff all wrong, I heard a few talks which stopped the confusion.